March 22, 2020

Begins communicating with the rest of the household exclusively through Zoom meetings after attempts to tap out messages via Morse code with “level infinity armpit toots” fails.
March 20, 2020

March 20, 2020

Honoring the loss of Kenny “The Roaster” Rogers earlier in the day, folds the laundry before receiving “the look” from the missus.

February 29, 2020

Earns the sobriquet “Scrooge McLeapface” after refusing to do so much as even a heel lift.

February 11, 2020

Runs afoul of Amnesty International after suggesting convicted political advisor Roger Stone be sentenced to 15 minutes reading political Twitter.