April 21, 2020

Predicts six more years of nonstop jackassery after CNN anchor Chris Cuomo emerges from his COVID-19 mancave and sees his shadow.
April 13, 2020

April 13, 2020

Scoops CNN to reveal that China’s official COVID-19 spokescomrade is actually a WOPR-powered Magic 8 Ball.

April 5, 2020

Stripped of British Open Championship title for failure to refer to the contest as “The Open Championship & Right Honorable Chip Shoppe.