Despite the glut of self-proclaimed social media gurus clogging up the WiFi byways of cybergorespace, I realize there may be a few people out there who are unsure if they’ve achieved such a loft status. Therefore, I am providing the following quiz – with no thoughts of remuneration or sainthood – as a public service to those who speak wisdom to the said public, often anonymously.

Please circle the correct response on your monitor. Try not to scroll.

1.  Do you have Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, Plaxo, and Technorati profiles?  

  1. Duh
  2. I’m only friends with Tom
  3. AOL all the way

2.  Do you have more than one profile on more than one of the above services?  

  1. Yes, in case I need to jumpstart a conversation
  2. That seems dishonest
  3. Yes, but only for specific stalking purposes

3.  Do you auto-follow new followers on Twitter?

  1. Yes, but only for specific stalking purposes
  2. No, I have no time for the opinions of others
  3. Only if they live close by

4.  Do you link your Facebook and Twitter accounts yet still post the same content on each manually, ensuring double posts?

  1. Double exposure! Double win!
  2. Better safe than silent
  3. With a CC to LinkedIn, natch

5.  When you hear the name “@garyvee,” what comes to mind?

  1. God
  2. The Chuck Norris of tweeting
  3. A poorly named ’72 Microbus

6.  Are you a goer?

  1. Wink, wink
  2. Nudge, nudge
  3. Whu-huh

7.  Do most of your posts consists of:

  1. Retweets of links about how to get more followers
  2. Eight or more hashtags
  3. Sucking up to more popular gurus in hopes of an RT

8.  Are you:

  1. Passionate
  2. Forward-thinking
  3. Proactive
  4. Actionable
  5. Results-oriented
  6. Leveragable
  7. Quantified
  8. Synergistic
  9. Detail-orientaled
  10. Drupalistic
  11. Fancy

9.  If you could only follow one person on Twitter, would it be:

  1. @justinbieber
  2. @ladygaga
  3. @yourusername

10. Do you believe conferences about social media are:

  1. A wellspring of vital information
  2. A wellspring of free SnackWells™
  3. A wellspring of potential restraining orders

Finished? Congratulations! Now give yourself 17 points for every (a) you circled, 4 points every (b), and 1 point for every (c). If you didn’t choose (a), (b) or (c) on Question 8, give yourself an appropriately sad or angry emoticon. If you scored between 0 and 170 points you, my friend, are a Social Media Guru. Your followers shall henceforth expand exponentially and invites to Holiday Inn Holidome-based conferences will be stuffing your DM box shortly. Please send a tweet to @jason_fox so I can follow your success, if not your actual account. Now go forth and spew likewise.

You’re welcome,