I’ve always loved The Martin Agency. I like the fact that they’re in Richmond, Virginia, and not in some semi-livable urban Thunderdome. I like the fact that their work has been consistently above average-to-great for years upon years. I don’t like them because they’ve ignored my requests for employment. But that’s another issue.

So it is with sadness in my cockles that I taunt (what I believe to be) their first bit of work for the Galactic Mothership of Value. Also known as Wal-Mart to us puny humans. It broke a few weeks ago, but it took me a while to find it online. Ironically, Walmart.com has it, and even provides handy code for embedding. So here you go:

It makes me weep. Seriously. I can only imagine what double-digit round of creative finally resulted in this – the psuedo-testimonial-slash-montage-slash-current-supposed-energy-crisis-borrowed interest-slash-borefest. Sure, it’s the best example of the breed ever produced, but production values do not a memorable spot make.

This, from the folks who gave us Tiny House and Cavemen (both for Geico), the Life Lessons figurines for TLC, some sweet print for TV Land and some truly funny NASCAR work? (I’ll ignore the Hanes spots feature Cuba Gooding, Jr. for now. But please stop them soon.)

It’s just so wrong, so sad and so ignoble.

But not so ignoble that I wouldn’t jump at the chance to work there. Even on The Mart. Hey, I got babies on the way.

Later,

Fox