M&C Saatchi, the 398th Saatchified agency for those counting, has developed yet another trademarked brandificationalistic mechanization for wowing mid-level marketing managers and others easily persuaded by shiny advertising jargon: One Word Equity.

Young MC Satchmo claims “The global ownership of one word is the most priceless asset a company can have in the digital age.”

Seriously. Is this a joke? Are people paying for this? Are we now going to get into heated debates over who owns “tasty” (KFC, Coca-a-Cola, my four-pack abs) or “skanky” (insert your own Britney/Paris/Lohan joke here)?

Shoot me. No, wait. Shoot them.

And for the record, the word I globally own is “bootylicious.” I’ll be awaiting my royalty checks from Beyoncé posthaste.