We’ll see if I actually manage to make this a weekly occurrence, but after hearing this absurd tagline on the radio this morning I just had to share. Are you ready? Are you sure? Okay.

OmniAmerican Bank is Pioneering forward.

Note the lack of a capital “F.” That’s straight from their website.

How is this awful? Let me count the ways:

  1. The tagline includes the name of the company. Apparently in hopes of forcing people to remember the name – hey, you can’t remember the tagline without the name of the bank! Good call.
  2. Wow, you’re moving forward? I was hoping for a more sixth-century acting banking institution.
  3. Pioneering is not a verb. It’s an adjective. The bank can be pioneering, but it cannot commence with pioneering; e.g., “Hey, Bob, let’s go out pioneering at the Kit Kat Klub later.” The only form of “pioneer” that is a verb is “pioneered,” and it’s transitive. Look it up.
  4. Did you see #3?

I blame this on Kinko’s. Years ago, while many of you were still tickling your non-TMX Elmos, Kinko’s ran a campaign that turned “office” into a verb. That tagline: The new way to office.

Ten years later, we end up here. Alone and weepy.