As you could probably guess from my silence on the matter, my “Grapes of Wrath” inspired list for failed to make the cut. They’re a mercurial bunch over at McSweeney’s, one minute going for highbrow literary references and the next opting for Yiddish punnery.

But my mission continues.

Therefore, I present my latest list:

How Justin Timberlake is Bringing Sexy Back

On a slow boat from China
In the back of a 1974 Pinto station wagon
In the expandable front pocket of his Roll-A-Board
Less Cameron Diaz, more Cameron Manheim
Via FedEx 3-day economy